Seen Big Foot lately? Then you've probably seen an undocumented worker using a fake ID to vote

Thanks to Donald Johnston a great Democrat and Sherman Attorney for forwarding this John Kelso's colummn.

By John Kelso
AMERICAN-STATESMAN STAFF
Sunday, January 18, 2009

You've seen them lined up around the block, the hordes of Mexican illegals waiting to get into the polls so they can vote twice.

They've sneaked across the border — not for roofing jobs, or to send money back home to their relatives. No, they've come here for EZ voting — that is, to vote for everybody whose name ends in EZ: Hernandez, Rodriguez, Martinez.

Texas Republicans know of this voter fraud problem. It's right up there in frequency with leprechaun sightings.

Then there's the old folks on fixed incomes. You know how those people are. They vote for Democrats, too. So the Republicans in the Texas Senate have passed a resolution that would allow a bill to be brought up that would require a photo ID to vote in Texas.

Hey, it's a jobs program. The Republican senators know that if they can keep enough Democrats from voting, they can keep their jobs.

On Wednesday, just two days into the 81st Legislative session (it's amazing how something so useless can last this long), the Texas Senate got off to a roaring start when it voted 18-13 to change Senate rules to allow a vote on a bill that would require Texas voters to show a photo ID when they go to the polls. The vote broke down largely along party lines — all the people voting for the rule change are GOPers. Normally, it would take two thirds of the Senate — or 21 Senators — to bring up a bill for debate. But the Republicans felt so strongly about the EZ voting dilemma that they changed the rules to allow the issue to be brought up with just a simple majority of the Senate calling for it.

Geez. Wouldn't it be nice if the Motha of All Parliaments felt that strongly about your vanishing 401(k), or your kid's education?

If we're going to make poor people get their pictures taken for voter ID cards, I'm proposing the creation of the Texas Department of Homeland Photography.

This would be run out of the offices of the 18 Texas Republican state senators who voted on bringing up the photo ID bill. So if you're out and about in the next few weeks, you ought to drop into one of these offices at the Capitol and tell them they need to take your picture and make you a voting badge. Bring your birth certificate. Heck, bring your dog.

I'm sure someone in each of these offices has a digital camera, and they've all got printers. And they can send out for plastic badge holders with official Texas Legislature lanyards you can hang around your neck.

The Senators who voted for this bill are: Tommy Williams, Kip Averitt, Bob Deuell, Robert Duncan, Kevin Eltife, Craig Estes, Troy Fraser, Chris Harris, Glenn Hegar, Mike Jackson, Joan Huffman, Jane Nelson, Robert Nichols, Steve Ogden, Dan Patrick, Kel Seliger, Florence Shapiro, and Jeff Wentworth.
So make a party of it. Stop at a bus stop and pick up a bunch of poor folks. And head on over there, and get your pictures made.

John Kelso's column appears on Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Contact him at 445-3606 or jkelso@statesman.com